Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Anatomy of a Cat Fight

Otherwise titled, How a Skinny Little Kitten Can Beat Up Two Standard Poodles in Ten Easy Steps.

First, we identify the perpetrator. Here you see 9-month-old Stewart, aka "The Troublemaker."

Looks innocent, doesn't he? Well, looks can be deceiving!

The Perpetrator makes contact with Victim #1 (um, that would be Cosette, who weighs about 60#) and pulls the "lie on your back and scoot up to her" sneak attack maneuver. Cosette was completely unsuspecting.

Now the Perpetrator winds himself around the Victim's front leg and gives the old "kangaroo kicks" to the Victim's back legs. That will surely render her helpless.

The next picture is misleading. It looks like our Victim is going to EAT the Perpetrator. But this is really NOT the case. Notice the complete lack of fear in our Perpetrator's eyes. :^D

Now our Perpetrator goes in for the kill. He grasps the victim by the head and gives The Kiss of Death, right between the eyes. It's not looking good for Cosette.

What is this? On lookers? Why are they not helping the hapless Victim? Are those SMILES on their faces? How sadistic!

Our poor Victim #1, unable to sustain anymore abuse and torture, flies for her crate. Now our Perpetrator turns his attention to Victim #2. Notice again he uses the "sneaky back scoot" to make his way over to Victim #2 (Delilah).
It's the Underhanded Neck Grab! Oh no! Not that! Delilah's doomed for sure!
Our Victim is looking for help as the Perpetrator checks to see if the Concrete Boots will fit - for disposal of the body, of course. Unfortunately for Delilah, no help is forthcoming....
....and once again, our Perpetrator uses the Kiss of Death to fell his Victim! Oh no! Two in one day! And to think this was once a nice place to live!

(Disclaimer: No poodles were actually harmed in the filming of this production. Delilah, Cosette, and, yes, even the fool-hardy Stewart are all alive and well. And the mess you see in the backgrounds of the photos was strategically placed for effect - we're really not that messy - honest! Oh, okay, maybe we are.)

What was going on in the living room with the cat and the dogs was DEFINITELY more interesting than the stupid movie, The New World, that we paid good money to rent. Save yourself the money - a root canal would be a better way to spend an evening! This movie was torture to watch.


Kassiah said...

Of course, I still love you! BTW, who knew lil Stu' could get the best of Cosette! LOL

Debbie said...

LOL, very funny, Ginger! I love the photos. Your precious girls are so patient with this young rascal.

Queen Bee said...

LOL.. too funny... loved the 10 step story.

Kristine said...

LOL, our little 7 lb. cat terrorizes our 55 lb. dog. She'll hide behind doors or cabinets and jump out when he passes by, and she'll corner him in other spots. She can make him get into his bed pronto.

My dh finds it terribly amusing, and he'll call the dog, send him across the room, call the dog, send him back, just to watch the cat contemplate her next move.

Great pictures!